What’s Blocking Your Healing Journey
You’ve done the journaling.
You’ve read the books, taken the courses, listened to the podcasts.
So why does it still feel like something’s missing?
You’re not broken - you’re just human.
One of the biggest blocks I see in healing and manifestation work is avoidance - those quiet, protective patterns that make it look like we’re growing when really, we’re still keeping ourselves safe.
Psychologist John Welwood called this spiritual bypassing - when we use self-development or spirituality to rise above our pain instead of moving through it. And it can show up in the most innocent ways.
Here are a few of the most common forms of avoidance I explore in Episode 128 of The Salarah K Starre Podcast.
1. Toxic Positivity
Keeping a “good vibes only” attitude might seem empowering, but when positivity becomes a way of avoiding real emotions, it disconnects you from your depth. True balance means letting yourself feel it all, the light and the heavy; without shame or denial.
2. Only Looking for the Lesson
When discomfort hits, it’s tempting to jump straight to meaning. “What is this teaching me?” sounds wise, but rushing to analyse pain is another form of bypassing. Real insight comes after you’ve felt what needs to be felt, not before.
3. Playing the Victim
Blame, defensiveness, or focusing on what others did wrong keeps you looping in old pain. Every trigger is information. When you shift from “Why is this happening to me?” to “What is this showing me about myself?”, everything changes, because you change.
4. Being the Rescuer
Helping everyone else while neglecting yourself might look loving, but often it’s a way to avoid your own unmet needs. True care empowers; rescuing disempowers. Healing begins when you bring that same compassion home to yourself.
5. Taking the Moral High Ground
“I’ll be the better person,” or “Karma will deal with it.” Sounds evolved, but often it’s a way of avoiding how hurt you actually feel. Real strength isn’t in rising above; it’s in meeting what’s real with honesty.
6. Chasing the Next Healing Fix
From rituals to retreats, it’s easy to look for the next thing that promises transformation. But the truth is, the most powerful tool you’ll ever have is your own awareness. You are the medicine.
These patterns don’t mean you’re doing something wrong, they mean your system is trying to keep you safe. The shift happens when you meet those defences with compassion instead of judgement.
When you do, everything changes.
You stop performing “healed,” and start feeling embodying whole.
You stop trying to manifest from control, and start creating from fun and playfulness.
Because the law of attraction doesn’t respond to what you say you want; it responds to what you feel safe to hold.
Ready to go deeper?
I unpack each of these avoidance patterns in detail, including how to recognise them in yourself and how to shift them gently, in Episode 128 of The Salarah K Starre Podcast:
“Why You Still Feel Stuck (Even After All the Inner Work).”
Listen wherever you get your podcasts.
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